3 Things that Cause UNthankfulness

This is just a quick post as I don't want to forget these little things I learned from the Homily of Father Jojo Monis of Hearts of Jesus and Mary Parish. The topic he discussed was about the top 3 things that cause us to be "UNthankful." 

1. Taking Things for Granted

Father Jojo said that this is one of the main reasons why we become unthankful - when we forget how blessed we already are. 

Sometimes when huge or even little challenges come into my life, I dwell on them until I feel like I've solved them. Though I pray to God to help me surrender these worries, I must admit that I sometimes have a hard time doing a "full surrender" to His will. 

The homily reminded me that despite my problems, I am still blessed with a loving family and a brand new day to make better decisions and become a better person. All of us are blessed. We just have to make an everyday effort to acknowledge these truths.

2. Envy and Selective Blindness

One day I had a meet-up with my girl friends and we were updating each other on what's going on with our lives. One of my friends said, "Oh have you seen the Facebook account of (some girl's name)? I can't believe she is now a (insert awesome career here). I hope I can do the same thing. She used to be not good in school. I can't believe she's a (once again, insert the career here)."

That conversation got me baffled. I am actually very happy for people who were once struggling adolescents but have now become better individuals. Likewise, I am also happy for myself and my journey through life. Sometimes, I just hope that we don't get too engrossed in this "it's-greener-on-the-other-side" mentality and simply be happy where we are now. Let's all be happy for each others' successes because we all have something unique to celebrate about our lives. Let's choose to see the good things instead of what we feel are wrong in our lives.  

3. The Feeling of Self-Entitlement

"I achieved things without the help of God."

Some of us may tend to think that we are self-entitled of our achievements. Like everything that happened in our lives were solely from our own efforts. No one helped you get to where you are. No one blessed you with your talents, gifts, and opportunities. It's all just you.

Father Jojo reminded us that although this arrogance can well up in our hearts, we should be reminded that there is someone out there bigger than us and taking care of us despite our ingratitude.

I have a friend who seemed to have it all. He's very proud of his achievements because he was top of his class while in university and recently, has passed all tests for a much awaited career promotion. When the time for promotion came, he apparently, was not chosen. He was so used to his success that when he did not get what he wanted, he became resentful of his work and secluded himself from his workmates. 

The call for us in our times of pride and arrogance is to regain the virtue of humility in our hearts. Sometimes there will be things that we will not get in life but this should not stop us from appreciating the rest of what's great about our lives.

Live Life to the Fullest! God bless you! :)

Jacq

Seeing God

Being a Christian blogger, specifically a Catholic one, this is my personal mantra which I believe came from God. When at times I am feeling uninspired or burdened, this statement comes to my mind unintentionally and I feel like it is God telling me to "Stand up, Brush it off, Move forward."

There are many instances when I feel like the world is pulling me out of this blog. But God is telling me to fight for it and use the many secular opportunities coming my way to glorify Him - to use various circumstances, opportunities, and even crosses to proclaim His name.

I hope I always see the world through Jesus' lenses. It may be a challenge, but it is also a talent I'm very willing to master. I have to learn to see God in the most mundane things - like my nail polish or my shoes. For how can I proclaim God in the world if I cannot see Him in the things around me?

How about you? Have you mastered the art of seeing God in everything? And when I say everything, I mean every THING.

Love always,

The Catholic Chic

On Full Dependence and Trust

From The Imitation of Christ by Thomas A Kempis

God has blessed me with so much more than I asked for. There was a time when I had more money and material things than I needed. I felt then like I had no need of God and relied solely on myself and my personal success. But when God saw that these were corrupting me, He took them away. 

Now, I believe He is teaching me so much more about financial stewardship. He is also teaching me to value the little I have and to share it with others. I used to be really selfish and I didn't want to give to others. But now, the less material things I have, the more I am able to share.

More than that, He is molding my heart to have full dependence on Him. He gave me supportive parents who understand what I'm going through. He gives us basic necessities, Godly friends and a parish community, and productive hobbies which allow us to meet people to inspire us and vice versa.

And true to the bible, He really does take care of me 100% - even my most miniscule whims, He solves. Would you believe that because of blogging, a skin care brand made me one of their brand ambassadors? God knows that I have insecurities about my acne scars. He knows that because of my small salary, I can't afford skin treatments right now, so He blessed me with sponsorship. I know this is a very small concern compared to the bigger problems of the world; but nevertheless, He still blesses me, no matter how big or small.

“Consider how the wild flowers grow. 

They do not labor or spin. 

Yet I tell you, 

not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, 

which is here today, 

and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, 

how much more will he clothe you—

you of little faith!"

- Luke 12: 27-28 

Truly there is nothing that I could ask for that He does not know and cannot give. May I always be thankful for my material blessings but may my heart never forget its source. May I love the ultimate source of goodness that is Christ above all things.

Yours in Christ,

The Catholic Chic 

30-Day Modesty Challenge Week 3

 "Modesty is always Beautiful." 
- G.K. Chesterton

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I came across a blog post from the Chastity project on  a 30-Day Modesty Challenge. The task is for women to post OOTDs (Outfit of the Day) styled in a modest way for the next 4 weeks.

I became interested on this challenge because I was inspired by Kileen's blog post which showed that women CAN look beautiful even when dressing modestly.

Some women are a little bit skeptic on how this can be accomplished. Sometimes I also tend to think that dressing modestly is synonymous with daggy clothing and boring styles.

I am not much an OOTD type of person. I usually do not follow fashion trends and I dress very plainly. Hence, I thought of getting help from my workmates for this project.

This week, I took another set of random shots of me and some of my workmates who styled their outfits in the most modest way they know how. It was an on-the-spot thing (yet again!) and I wasn't able to inform them that I would take their shots. I took these photos after our movie date.

I'm super glad they are supportive of this project and participated with much gusto. Love you girls!!!  

Here are the random modest styles I got for Week 3:

Tricia looks fabulously chic with her cream top, above-the-knee floral skirt, and those ankle strap beauties!














MK went for some neutral tones with her tan-on-black ensemble and accessorized with a bronze necklace and a black leather bag with vintage buckles.








Jacq wore a bow-patterned, moss green dress and she synched the waist with a brown bow.
















Kat did some color blocking with her tan and royal blue dress.












If you feel you are called to dress more modestly, there are so many resources out there. I personally started checking out modesty boards in Pinterest and there are tons of inspiration! You may also try using this hashtag #30daymodestychallenge in your search.

Honestly, the more I research about it and its effects on both men and women, the more I am inspired to do it. Plus, my husband totally supports me on this! Love you dear!

To make your search a little bit easier, I'm linking a video from my fave top model, Leah Darrow on her thoughts about modest dressing. 

Let's keep praying for each other, sisters! 

Yours in Christ,

The Catholic Chic

30-Day Modesty Challenge (Week 1 and 2)

 "Modesty is always Beautiful." - G.K. Chesterton

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I came across a blog post from the Chastity project on  a 30-Day Modesty Challenge. The task is for women to post OOTDs (Outfit of the Day) styled in a modest way for the next 4 weeks.

I became interested on this challenge because I was inspired by Kileen's blog post which showed that women CAN look beautiful even when dressing modestly.

Some women are a little bit skeptic on how this can be accomplished. Sometimes I also tend to think that dressing modestly is synonymous with daggy clothing and boring styles.

I am not much an OOTD type of person. I usually do not follow fashion trends and I dress very plainly. Hence, I thought of getting help from my workmates for this project.

The past days, I brought my camera to work and took shots of my workmates who styled their outfits in the most modest way they know how. It was an on-the-spot thing and I wasn't able to inform them that I would take their shots. I'm super glad they are supportive of this project and participated with much gusto. Love you girls!!!  

Here are the random modest styles I got for Week 1:

 






Tricia's Tan-on-Black ensemble. I just love this loose top and also her gold-studded bag.


 









Mary's white on denim is a basic style. She added a pop of color by wearing a multicolored gemstone necklace. Did I say I love her beige shoes?  









 




Jacq keeps it simple with a gold St. Benedict necklace, an emerald top, and basic black pants.










For women who love wearing skirts, a modest cut is somewhere above the knee or longer. For spaghetti strap dresses, sleeveless, and tube tops, it is advised that women wear blazers, coats, or cardigans if they want to achieve the more modest look. Kat went for an above-the-knee cut sleeveless dress, which she put a blazer over.

Here are some shots I got for Week 2:

Tricia decided to have some fun with a relaxed black and white ensemble.







 

Mary's getting ready for the weekend by going for a rock chic vibe with her black top, metal cross, and jeans.






 




Jacq decided to tweak her plunging neckline blouse by wearing it backwards for a more modest feel. She also put on a cowboy belt to give it more figure.








 Kat decided to go for a preppy casual look by pairing a red office skirt with some awesome sneaks!








If you feel you are called to dress more modestly, there are so many resources out there. I personally started checking out modesty boards in Pinterest and there are tons of inspiration! You may also try using this hashtag #30daymodestychallenge in your search.

Honestly, the more I research about it and its effects on both men and women, the more I am inspired to do it. Plus, my husband totally supports me on this! Love you dear!

To make your search a little bit easier, I'm linking a video from my fave top model, Leah Darrow on her thoughts about modest dressing. 

Let's keep praying for each other! 

Yours in Christ,

The Catholic Chic

My Thoughts on "The Hardcore Truth"

In my college days, I joined a Catholic youth group, CFC-Youth for Christ, which advocates the 100% pure lifestyle. Among the many advocacies we lived by was No to Pornography, shortly coined "porNO".

From yfc.tumblr.com

To my young mind, the phrase sounded catchy but I did not fully understand it as of late. In those days, I wasn't really aware of the inner workings of the world of pornography. I thought it was an issue which affects only the males.

Recently, I came across an e-book suggested to me by my husband. It is entitled The Hardcore Truth and was written by Matt Fradd and Donny Pauling. 

Once again, I thought the porn issue only concerned men. However, I realized after reading this that the issue concerns females as well, as I learned women suffer from this addiction and/or the ill effects of porn.

The book answered the many questions I had about pornography and discussed the latest issues surrounding this topic. It debunked the many myths about porn that was fed to me by the media. 

It is a 30-page e-book which can be finished in a few hours. I suggest you get a copy if you are looking for a quick read. 

But first, who are Matt and Donny?

Matt Fradd works for Covenant Eyes, and is the author of the new book Delivered: True Stories of Men and Women who Turned from Porn to Purity. He is also the founder of The Porn Effect (www.theporneffect.com), a site dedicated to exposing the reality behind the fantasy of porn and offering help to those seeking freedom from it. Matt lives with his wife and children in Georgia. 

Donny Pauling was a porn producer for 9 years, working with Playboy and other top companies. But after meeting a Christian ministry and having a God-encounter of his own, Donny walked away from porn for good. Now a Christian speaker, Donny shares his story and the truth about the dangers of porn to churches and universities around the country. Donny was confirmed into the Catholic Church on Easter Vigil, 2014. 

Matt Fradd and Donny Pauling

These 2 guys teamed up to create this interesting e-book and here are some of the Myths about pornography they debunked:

Myth 1: Porn is Morally Neutral

Myth 2: Porn is Glamorous

Myth 3: Porn Liberates Women

Myth 4: Porn Stars Love the Sex

Myth 5: Watching Porn is Healthy, Adult Entertainment

Myth 6: Porn Enhances Sexual Intimacy

Myth 7: Porn Stars are Well-rounded women

Myth 8: Porn is Safe for the Actors to Make 

Myth 9: Looking at Free Porn doesn't support the Industry

Myth 10: Porn is just Fantasy

The book was truly an eye-opener as it immersed me to the real world of pornography. It contained a lot of personal stories of men and women who once actively participated in the industry, as well as biblical and Christian insights to thoroughly discuss and debunk the myths enumerated above. 

While reading, my heart ached for all women who were victimized by this industry. At the same time, I was encouraged to read more about their plight and pray for them as well as the million others who have been deceived by porn.

Here are a few excerpts which struck me (emphasis mine):

"Real sex cannot be packaged and sold through pixels on a screen. Porn turns sex into a commodity. Porn reduces the mystery and beauty of a man or a woman to a collection of body parts to be used rather than recognizing them as persons to be loved. It reduces the great mystery and sanctity of human sexuality to a trivial activity."

"Pornography sells lies—cleverly scripted and cunningly edited lies. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states, porn “immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world.”

"I would say the foundational reason pornography is wrong is that it removes the sexuality from its natural context. It removes sexuality from outside of the intimacy of the partners and turns it into a commodity, something to be bought and sold."

"I like to say that pornography doesn’t complement sexual intimacy; it competes with it. I found out at the 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, they revealed that 58% of their divorces were in some way influenced by a spouse looking at excessive amounts of pornography online. So pornography certainly doesn’t enhance intimacy in marriage. It’s its enemy. It’s a counterfeit. It offers a warped sense of intimacy."

I hope you would download this e-book as it is a great resource in understanding pornography. If you have any peers, friends, family members who would like to detox from porn, this e-book will also be of great help. 

This e-book is actually FREE and you can download it from the Covenant Eyes website. 

Other FREE e-books you can find at Covenant Eyes include the following:

For Parents:

1. Protecting Your Family Online, A How-To Guide for Parents

2. A Parent's Guide to Cyberbullying

3. Parenting the Internet Generation, 7 Potential Threats and 7 Habits for Internet Safety 

Recovery from Porn:

4. Your Brain on Porn, 5 Proven Ways Porn Warps Your Mind and 3 Biblical Ways to Renew it

5. The Porn Circuit, Understand Your Brain and Break Porn Habits in 90 Days

6. Pornography Statistics (2014 edition)

7. Coming Clean, Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability

8. Stop the Demand, The Role of Porn in Sex Trafficking

Support for Couples:

9. Porn and Your Husband, A Recovery Guide for Wives

10. Hope After Porn, 4 Women Share their stories of heartbreak and how their Marriages were Saved

Church support:

11. Porn-free church, Raising Up Gospel Communities to Destroy Secret Sins

12. Internet Pornography, A Ministry Leader's Handbook

Visit Covenant Eyes today and read up on these valuable resources. May God bless you!

+ Totus Tuus +

Inside Hazing: The First Ever BosX Series

This July, the Ministry for Youth Affairs of the Archdiocese of Cubao started a talk series focusing on the various concerns of the youth of today. 

The series is entitled BosX (Basic Orientation Seminar - Christ), as inspired by the TEDx series. The event will run from July to August and would focus specifically on topics such as hazing, exorcism, etc. 

For their first event, the topic discussed was on hazing, which is the big buzz as of late. This was inspired by the recent demise of a 2nd year university student, Guillo Cesar Cervando (18 y/o), due to hazing.

The Ministry hopes that their BosX series would help guide their youth to avoid joining fraternities and sororities that may lead them to a dangerous path, if not death. 

Youth from different vicariates gather together to listen to the talk.

The event started with an opening prayer, worship, and welcome remarks from the Ministry of Youth Affairs.

Worship and Dance.

Opening Prayer.

Welcome remarks from a sister from the Ministry of Youth Affairs

The speaker for the night was Ret. Col. Dencio Acop, who personally experienced hazing in the Philippine Military Academy. 

After staying in PMA for a year, he merited a scholarship which allowed him to finish his military studies in the West Point academy in the United States.

Here are some excerpts from the talk of Ret. Col. Dencio Acop:

What is hazing?

Hazing is the endurance of physical, psychological, and emotional punishment inflicted on one’s body and psyche by other individual/s. 

A person opens up himself to the possibility of being subjected to hazing when he joins a fraternity or an above-board organization but with a hidden personality as that of a fraternity. 

Inside Hazing in the Philippines

Hazing is generally outlawed but many fraternities do it anyway away from public view. Once a member, one generally gets hazed as punishment for failing to deliver on some instruction given by a superior. Many civilian fraternities also use hazing as a one-time initiation rite to make a recruit ‘deserving’ of being a fresh member and also to ‘intimidate’ him towards becoming a loyal, committed, long-term frat member. 

The problem with this set-up is that it is prone to abuse. Hazing victims can be inflicted with the harshest of punishments for the flimsiest infractions. 

Among the most common hazing punishments I had to endure was being punched regularly in the stomach, kicked, struck with some item, performing push-ups, squat thrusts, or running for endless hours; being deprived of food, and sleep deprivation.

Add caption

Looking back...

In hindsight, I will say hazing is totally unnecessary. It is the twisted / illegal / immoral aspect of just punishment or ‘brotherhood’. It is unjust. It is deceptive. It feeds on fear. It is unnecessary violence heaped upon the helpless. It does not foster brotherly love, but hate and vengeance. The experience leads to a spiraling web of vengeful violence and its never-ending cycle. 

The purposes of associations’ avowed aims of engendering discipline and commitment from their members through hazing can also be gained by employing the exact opposite of hazing. And if such associations are true to their ideals, then there should be no room for such an abomination as hazing. 

As I’ve said before, I cannot associate the hazing I’ve experienced in my life to any leadership / management principle or lesson learned that has helped me along the way of my development as a person. I cannot even credit the experience for its crisis management value because such can also be achieved through proven methods other than sadistic hazing. 

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Thank you Col. Acop for gracing us with your presence and allowing your experience to inspire the youth!

The speaker with Fr. Jojo Monis from the Ministry of Youth Affairs.

If you want to join the next BosX, it happens every Saturday at the Lantana cathedral in Cubao. 

Please feel free to look for Father Jojo Monis on Facebook too. See you there!